Founding Partner, Michelle Foster, Interviewed by Forbes: Starting a Family As An Ambitious Female Attorney
/Starting A Family As An Ambitious Female Attorney
More and more women are joining the ranks of the legal community. Practicing law while raising a family involves a high level of dedication at work and at home. As a veteran of the legal profession and mother of three, I believe it’s possible to find a balance between work and family and to enjoy the benefits of both. By leveraging resources, finding support and adjusting goals during different stages, female attorneys have the power to achieve success and fulfillment in their ambitions for both work and family.
Education And Early Years As An Attorney
When I attended the University of California Hastings College of Law in the 1980s, there were many female students. However, my undergraduate class at John Hopkins University was only the second in the school’s history to be co-ed.
I spent my early years as a litigation attorney in New York City at a Wall Street law firm. It was a fast-paced environment, and while there were female associates, there were no female partners to serve as mentors. Practicing law took up most of my time and attention, but I loved it; although I wasn’t focused on a partnership, my ambitions were always to be a first-rate attorney.
Starting A Family While Working
I started a family at age 34 while I was an associate in New York. A conversation with my mother made me understand that I did not have the leisure, biologically speaking, to delay the decision to have children any longer. I was five years into my private practice career when I decided to embark on this life change.
I had three children and worked through all of my pregnancies. After each child was born, I put my career on hold for three to six months. The firms I worked for were not opposed to my extended absences because the leave was unpaid.
Finding Support To Balance Work And Family
Fortunately, my husband was very involved in raising our children, and his help cannot be understated. We met in law school and we both had demanding careers, but we shared family responsibilities equally. We also employed a tremendous nanny who remains a close friend of the family to this day. Other than that, I put one foot in front of the other and did what I needed to do to manage my professional responsibilities.
Adjusting Goals In The Light Of A New Family
My ambitions began to change after starting a family. The experience of spending time with my children while they were little was a treasure. We were living in New York City, and there was so much to do and explore. Part of me wanted more flexibility to enjoy the fleeting years with them rather than spending the hours prepping for depositions and trials.
During those years, I had no perfect formula to balance the responsibilities of work and family. Some weeks were better than others. I gave my children a lot of love but also a lot of independence. The children had their interests, activities and ample free time. We did not micromanage, but we gave our children encouragement and provided stability on which they could rely. As parents, we also made sure to carve out time for our own hobbies and leisure.
As my children grew older, it became more expensive to support them. I eventually left the practice of law and shifted my career into legal search in the late 1990s when all my children were in elementary school. This change gave me additional power to control my schedule and earning potential. I focused more energy on my job and discovered I was incredibly successful in this line of work.
Advice For Female Attorneys Starting Families Mid-Career
As the founder and managing partner of a legal recruiting firm, I feel empowered to assist the women and men with whom I work and offer all the guidance I can. Sometimes, the best advice I can give is to do the best that you can but not place undue stress on yourself — to understand that you are only one human being and there are many competing priorities for your time. Your best, while perhaps not perfect, is probably pretty damn good. I also share with them the importance of finding support in order to maintain a career and raise a family. For so many women, finding the balance that enables them to continue a professional career and nurture a family is worth the effort.
I believe some women come into their true potential later in life. There are many reasons for this and it is different for each individual. Sometimes women are pulled in too many directions earlier in their career; sometimes women gain confidence and come to recognize their true ability and potential with age; and sometimes women’s aspirations evolve as their life progresses, or once their children are grown. Regardless, I encourage them to move forward, find necessary support systems, adjust their goals as their lives evolve and, most importantly, believe in themselves and take advantage of opportunity when it knocks.